before starting ivf, the idea of it was crushing to me. i deeply wanted to believe that it would be possible for us to conceive naturally, and involving modern medicine felt cold and sterile and somehow less magical. but as time went on, my heart broke one too many times, and eventually i knew i was ready. i also knew if we were going to take this path, the last thing i wanted was to feel like a victim. as someone surrounded by friends and family getting pregnant with ease (and as someone with a